I just did something I never thought I would do, and recorded a podcast episode with the lovely, inspiring human: Rebecca Reinhart. She has a podcast called The Unintentional Porn Star, she’s incredible, and I’m so happy I get to work with her on an ongoing basis! We talked all about gender, sexuality, and much more, which leads me to this post.
To be honest, I didn’t realize that the first post I made on this site was going to be viewed as a ‘coming out’ post. I sort of thought that I was already out, what with the pronouns in my bio and how openly I’ve been talking about it with everyone in my life. But I guess people don’t really read bios. Lol, oh well.
As I said there, I’m still pretty new to this world, (and loving it). It’s only been over the past year that I began to question my gender identity, began dealing with mental health issues I’d been struggling with for years, and finally started acting on some of my lifelong dreams.
So, what makes me qualified to be on a podcast? (Can you hear the imposter syndrome?)
Disclaimer: everything I say (both there and here) is a reflection of my personal experience and no one else’s. So, if you choose to read along, you’re taking in the opinions and thought processes of a non-binary, demisexual, panromantic writer.
“How did you know?” Well, that’s rather a lengthy question, because I still don’t ‘know’ exactly where I fall under the non-binary umbrella. Only that I’m not cis-gender (identifying with the gender you were assigned at birth.) But one of the things that helped me to realize this was someone else’s observation, which I read on another blog, or a post on social media, or in a book? It said something to the effect of ‘straight people probably don’t spend so much time questioning whether or not they’re straight.’ That sentence helped me back in high school, and it also helped me more recently, in regard to my gender identity.
Not to say that if you’re questioning, you’re not cis-gender or allosexual. That would be a blanket statement and I try to avoid those. It was only one of the indications that pointed the way for me.
Allosexual: anyone who experiences sexual attraction for other people. If you’re not allosexual, or if you rarely or never experience sexual attraction, then you may be on the asexuality spectrum as I am. But not necessarily. Isn’t this fun?
Truly though, whether you’re questioning or not, or would just like to be a better ally to the community, it’s always beautiful to be curious. Not everyone in the LGBTQ+ community is up for educating, but there are many who are, (like myself,) and there are also a lot of resources online (or at least plenty more than there used to be.)
I understand that it can be nerve-wracking to research these things, whether because you’re not in a safe position to do so, or because you’re worried about asking the wrong questions, taking up space that doesn’t belong to you, judgement, etc. In my personal experience, there is space for you. As long as you approach things with respect, openness and curiousity (and love) then even if you do make a mistake, it is not nearly as huge a calamity as it may feel.
I speak on a lot of these same topics in the podcast, and also talk about gender identity vs expression. I’ve included the link below, and highly recommend you check out Rebecca’s other podcasts as well!
I’m sure I will have more to say on this subject, and if you do have questions, I’m more than willing to try my best to answer them. It’ll be based on my experience, so as long as you understand that, then feel free to reach out!
TL;DR: I recorded a podcast with Rebecca Reinhart (@rebeccareinhart) talking all about gender, sexuality, questioning, and so on! Check it out!